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a lot of spunk, a little dare devil, and VERY BRAVE

I am sorry I have been MIA
and I am afraid I might be MIA a little longer...
as some of you know my Mother In Law passed away on January 6th
and my family is still trying to get over this
 

She was my Mother In Law for over 13 years but my other Mama for almost 20.
She was Bub's Nana and he LOVED her to the moon and back!!!
 
my mother in law and I never really had that lovey dovey relationship
but we did share one common thing
we LOVE the same men...
my hubs and Bubs or her only son and grand baby
don't get me wrong I loved her too and she loved me and we did share several great memories together
and she helped me become a MOM (that's another story)
but her final night I had a new found admiration for my MIL
she was the bravest woman I had ever met
 
Susie was taken to the hospital by ambulance on Wednesday
and was put on a breathing machine to sustain her tiny body
she was in and out of consciousness and
was writing notes to her loved ones when she was not under sedation for pain or stress
Thursday morning we got a phone call from her lung dr
(Susie had COPD from a life long smoking habit and had
had several previous hospital visits... each one a little longer than the last... 2 years ago she was in a coma for a few months and was put on life support and she swore she would never do that again)
the dr informed hubs that  his mom wanted to be taken off the breathing machine
and had a DNR which she has had for months maybe years
and that all family should come in to say their goodbyes
because her lungs could no longer support her
all family came in and several friends did too
some drove through the night and others caught the first plane they could
through the next few days
Susie was able to see most of her loved ones
it was bitter sweet... the amount of love that poured in and out of that ICU room was amazing
she was blanketed in it...
all of her sisters were there... and her brother and children and even ex-step children
best friends, high school friends, and long time friends
it was amazing

she made sure to greet all that came to visit with a little grin and if you were lucky you got a note...
don't get me wrong...
she was conscious but not like sitting up in bed, having conversations, and writing notes
when she was awake
she was soooo weak
she had to have someone hold a clipboard for her and she would hold the pen and usually with her eyes closed or half open she would write while laying in bed and tubes coming from every which direction
her writing was sometimes beautiful (like always) and other times when she was in such discomfort and relieved with pain meds it was not so understandable....

some got to do lists like change your tires
some got fond memories remembered
and some got words of encouragement
I got a half note because she fell asleep while writing it
BUT before that she mouthed the words
I LOVE YOU
and although she had a mouth full of tubes
I could clearly see that she also mouthed
THANK YOU

I promised her I would take care of her boys and that I loved her too
and with her eyes closed and her strength diminishing
she smiled at me

when the time was getting close to remove the machines...
she was getting weaker and the notes were getting few and far between
but she did make sure
she wrote a note to reassure all of us...
and reminded us she was going to be with Jesus
and for us to be strong and happy
how amazing is that...
she knew what was going to happen
and in her final moments she was comforting us


 she was taken off life support at 10pm on the 5th
a peace came over her and her body was relaxed
we too were unimaginably peaceful at this time
Susie passed  VERY peacefully in the early morning at 1am  of the 6th
she was surrounded by family and friends.

it is hard to imagine that someone that was writing you notes hours before
passed away so quickly
but it just goes to show you how strong and brave she was
and that Heaven was ready for a new member


I truly believe that she made the decision she did because she didn't want
my hubs to have to make it later



the last weeks have honestly been a whirlwind of days blurring together

bubs knows his Nana is in Heaven and he is now in charge of her dog...
(that was on a note :) lol)
hubs is doing pretty good under the circumstances and I couldn't be more proud of how he has handled all of the funeral planning, estate settling, and will probating.  He has been an amazing rock through all of this even though I know he is hurting tremendously inside.
I am doing OK too... I keep thinking about how she mouthed those words to me and I hang on to that...

my grandmother once told me  while I was crying
at my grandfather's funeral to not be selfish
he was in a better place
and I didn't really get it
i kinda got mad at her...
ok I did get mad at her
my grandma is always full of BLUNT but meaningful advice

BUT those words ran through my head
over and over again and still do...

I am sad but my sadness is for me... I am sad for MY husband, I am sad for MY son, I am sad  for reasons that are close to me...
that is selfish
when I think of my grandma's advice
I am reminded...
I should be happy
which I am
I am happy that Susie is in heaven
she can breathe again and  I am happy that she no longer has to suffer to catch a breath
and she no longer has to fear her next breathing attack or her next hospital visit or her next hospital bill
I am happy she no longer needs to sleep with oxygen tubes in her nose or be worried about making it into work on humid days when breathing was hardest...
I am so happy she is no longer in pain... so so happy

thanks for letting me share with you
and thanks for those that have prayed for our family
we appreciate each and every one of them and you
and please
if you smoke
look around at your blessings and stop...
your family will thank you for it


I can't just leave you like that... I need to share this too...
I also hang on to great memories... like the first time I met her
she had her baton
and was twirling in the backyard
hubs and I were just friends and were in high school
I asked what kind of baton it was and she told me a flaming baton
she lit it
and began twirling it...
it was amazing
she would toss it and catch it
and with each twirl, swirl, and catch I was further impressed with her talent
 her grand finale was a high toss that landed on the
ROOF of  the house
YES A FLAMING BATON
ON THE ROOF
she and I were both in shock and were screaming for the boys...
hubs and his dad rushed outside
and grabbed hoses to extinguish the grand finale
that is how I met her and this is how I will remember her...
a lot of spunk, and little dare devil, and VERY BRAVE!!!

toodles

49 comments:

  1. What a beautiful tribute to your MIL. She seems very spunky as well as brave which reminds me of you actually. How sweet that she was writing notes to you all! Prayers and lots of hugs to you and your family Farley. :-)

    Karyn

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  2. Prayers for you & your family at this most difficult time! If there's one thing you are all about, it's family. You were the perfect love sent there at the perfect moment of time. I'm certain your presence provided GREAT comfort!
    Hugs to you,

    Amy Howbert
    Little Miss Organized
    amyhowbert1@gmail.com

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  3. Oh My Golly, Farley:
    That was a beautiful post and a beautiful tribute to a woman who clearly meant so much to you.
    Thank you for being brave and full of love in sharing your thoughts with all of us.
    Big heartfelt prayers and warm wishes for you, your dear hubs and sweet Drew too...

    Kim
    Finding JOY in 6th Grade

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  4. I am so very sorry for your loss, I am glad she is free of pain. Thank you for sharing a beautiful story. May you be comforted in the days to come, prayers and hugs to you and your family.
    Jill

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  5. I'm sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my prayers. Thank you for remembering her with us.

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  6. What an incredible way to remember your mother-in-law. You have been in my prayers, and I will continue to pray for His peace, love and mercy to cover all of you in the days to come.

    Abby
    Third Grade Bookworm

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  7. Thank you for telling your MIL's story. It was a lovely tribute to her. It looks like she was an amazing person; I love the story about the baton! Your words conveyed your emotions beautifully. My thoughts are with you and your husband and son...

    Rebecca
    Ladybugs Lounge

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  8. What a beautiful way to remember your MIL. Strength to you and your family.
    Brooke

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  9. Prayers for your sweet family. When my mom passed away 13 years ago, one thing has stuck with me from the sermon at her funeral. Ken, the minister, said that death puts us in a funny position. We should be happy, because our loved one is at home with the Lord, but we feel sad because we miss them, and it is ok to be both. Love this tribute to a woman who has meant so much to you!

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  10. What a great story to end with. Your MIL sounded like an amazing lady. Peace and love be with you and your beautiful family.
    Wendy

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  11. Wow. I always read your blog, but don't always comment (sorry, I'll try harder). You brought tears to my eyes. I am just now learning about God and about Jesus. I think that you are right, she has blessed you all. I love how real you are. May you feel peace when you think of all she gave you and all you gave her.

    Kimberley
    First in Maine

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  12. seems she specialized in grand finales! I so identified with this as I have memories much like these about my own MIL! Beautifully written!

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  13. Cried my eyes out, that was beautiful. A very special post - I wish you and your family peace.

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  14. What a beautifully written tribute to a very special person. Thank you for sharing with us (as I am sitting wiping away the tears...)

    ~Stephanie
    Teaching in Room 6

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  15. This was beautiful. Just finished crying and thinking of my loved ones in heaven. I'll be saying some extra prayers for your sweet family.

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  16. Wow girl....that was beautiful! Continuing to lift you up in prayer:) Thanks for sharing something so personal and with a strong message:) God's glory shining through all this:) Hugs!

    4th Grade Frolics

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  17. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story

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  18. What a beautiful story of someone who meant so much to your family. Praying for your family to strength during this difficult time.


    Mrs. Pauley’s Kindergarten

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  19. Thinking of you and your family. So sorry for your loss.

    Sarah
    Learning is for Superstars

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  20. Thank you for sharing such personal things. That was beautiful, and your mom-in-law sounds like she was a very special woman. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Lots of love to you all.

    GAYLA
    Teach On.

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  21. Prayers to you and your family. I agree with the comment earlier. Your mother in law and you seem to be a lot alike. Spunky, writing little notes, brave, etc. Treasure all of those memories. God bless you, Stephanie

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  22. My heart and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. What a wonderful tribute to your MIL. She was lucky to have such a special person for a DIL. Stay strong in the future. Thanks for being an inspiration.

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  23. So well written...what a tribute. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sending thoughts and prayers from England.

    Kelli

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  24. I am very sorry for your loss, but your post is beautiful and that you feel this way and have made it public is a BIG tribute to her and to your husband and son.

    Prayers and positive thoughts are with you all the way from Puerto Rico.

    I admire you and all you do! Including the fact that you like to wear jeans to work. I live in my jeans. Its the only way I could ever teach kinder and first grade.

    Love always,

    Conchy

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  25. I'm very sorry for your loss, Farley. Thank you for sharing the story of your mother in law... especially the part about the flaming baton! :) I'm so glad you have the comfort and peace knowing that she is in heaven.

    Kate
    EduKate and Inspire

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  26. The first picture of your Mother in Law with Bubs is beautiful. My thought and prayers are going out to your family. Hold on to your faith and each other during this time.
    Stacy

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  27. Life is so precious! Thanks for sharing. Thoughts and prayers sent your way.

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  28. What a beautiful post! Sending many thoughts and prayers your way.

    Emily
    Simple Suburbia

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  29. {{Hugs}} to you and your family! This post will mean so much to your husband and everyone who loved her!

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  30. Thanks for sharing your story. I was at church a few weeks before my dad died and the pastor said, "People matter to God." I drove to my folks house because I wanted to make sure my dad would be going to heaven. Not for him, but for me. My daddy mattered to God, and I needed to make sure he'd be spending eternity with the God I love. And he is. It is a comfort. I still miss him, and that's okay. Your Susie matters to God too. You matter to Susie. So does your Hubs and Bub. You all matter to God. Be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, and know that God embraced Susie.
    Thank you so much for sharing...

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  31. ❤LOVE❤ and {{HUGS}} to you, the hubs and Bub.
    Beautiful post.

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  32. This is an amazing post! Thank you for sharing such a personal heartfelt story. You are so lucky to have an angel like Nana looking over you and your family. Hugs and love to you and your boys!
    Gina
    Beach Sand and Lesson Plans

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  33. This is a beautiful post. You just told such a wonderful story of life. I cried for you, Drew, and hubs. Love you Farley,
    Reagan

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  34. What a wonderful tribute! My condolences to your family.

    NotJustChild'sPlay

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  35. So sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful post and tribute. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. <3


    Chelsea
    www.bloomingintofirst.blogspot.com

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  36. As I sat here reading this tears came to my eyes remembering the note that my grandfather left me when he passed. Thank you for reminding me of that. Hugs to you and your family.

    Jenn
    www.LiveTeachCreate.com

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  37. Oh Farley, what a beautiful tribute to your MIL. She was very clearly a special woman. I am so sorry for your loss, and for your hubs and bubs. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Much love to each of you.

    Jamie
    MissMathDork!

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  38. What a beautiful tribute to your mother-in-law! I lost mine unexpectedly last summer and cried while reading your post. Life is short and precious...
    Swersty’s Swap Shop

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  39. Tears and prayers, that's what happening right now. I'm going to grab a tissue and then pray for your family. I send you LoVe.

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  40. This was beautiful. I cried for you and your family, and for a recent loss of my own. Thank you for the reminder to smile and remember happy times and for sharing a piece of your heart with all of us. ((Hugs))

    Casey

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  41. What a beautiful tribute to such a special lady. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you & your family in my thoughts & prayers <3

    Alisha

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  42. Your post had me in tears. I lost my MIL ten years ago and I can tell you, it is the hardest thing in the world to watch your husband, the man you love, lose the woman who brought him into this world. I am grateful for the time I had with her, and grateful for how she raised her son, my husband. I know your MIL is up in Heaven, smiling down knowing that you are taking care of her son and grandson now that she has passed. Thanks again for sharing. Will keep you in my prayers as you all live with this loss.
    Patti
    Tales from a 4th (and 5th) Grade Teacher

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  43. Wow- That was an amazing tribute to your mother in law. So beautifully written. I cried throughout the entire thing, even as I was laughing at the baton story. You and your family are in my prayers and your words (and grandmother's) will stick with me for a very long time. In the past 15 years, I have lost my amazing father, grandfather, and aunt. It is never easy, but your words are very true... In heaven, they no longer are suffering and have fear. They are at peace. So here I am crying again. So it's time to move on to other things. lol You seem like an amazing, strong person. Your loved ones are lucky to have you in their life. :)
    Thoughts and prayers
    Antoinette

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  44. What a beautiful tribute. Today is my mom's birthday and as I think of her I wonder if I could ever put into words my feelings as well as you did.

    Terri
    KinderKapers

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  45. I am in tears after reading your beautiful tribute to your Mother-in-law. My prayers are with you and your family.

    Denise

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  46. I have just cried all the way through your post, and think what a beautiful tribute to your MIL. My own mother has COPD and has been hospitalized a couple times with her breathing issues. This just reminded me of how much she means to me, and how I can't wait to see her and spend time. Please know you, your husband, and family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Much love,
    Kelly

    First Grade Fairytales

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  47. Love this!! I'm your newest follower!!!

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